A Softening Heart

The above painting is titled "Angels Welcome"

I joined the LDS Church in March 1972. In November 1980, Steve and I asked to be excommunicated. We felt we could no longer be associated with the LDS Church due to some very unsettling experiences we had while living in Salt Lake City.

Fast forward to December 2009. Steve and I are now attending Sacrament meeting. I find myself looking forward to going to church.

It is odd because I have not sought to be rebaptized, yet I feel I belong in the church. I haven't felt this way for a very long time.

When we lived in SLC, I felt I was not one with the Saints because I was a convert. It seemed to me that if you were not born into an LDS home, you weren't truly LDS. This was disturbing to me because Steve and I held numerous callings back in New York. It did not matter that I was a convert because I was in a ward comprised mostly of converts.

Today I've been wondering if there are other LDS converts who moved to Utah and felt they were not welcomed. I found this talk by President Hinckley from 1999 and realized that perhaps my feelings had merit. This is part of what President Hinckley said:

Find the Lambs, Feed the Sheep
Gordon B. Hinckley, “Find the Lambs, Feed the Sheep,” Ensign, May 1999, 104
From a satellite broadcast given at the Salt Lake Tabernacle 21 February 1999

Strengthening New Members

Having found and baptized a new convert, we have the challenge of fellowshipping him and strengthening his testimony of the truth of this work. We cannot have him walking in the front door and out the back. Joining the Church is a very serious thing. Each convert takes upon himself or herself the name of Christ with an implied promise to keep His commandments. But coming into the Church can be a perilous experience. Unless there are warm and strong hands to greet the convert, unless there is an outreach of love and concern, he will begin to wonder about the step he has taken. Unless there are friendly hands and welcome hearts to greet him and lead him along the way, he may drop by the side.

There is absolutely no point in doing missionary work unless we hold on to the fruits of that effort. The two must be inseparable. These converts are precious. Every convert is a son or daughter of God. Every convert is a great and serious responsibility. It is an absolute imperative that we look after those who have become a part of us. To paraphrase the Savior, what shall it profit a missionary if he baptize the whole world unless those baptized remain in the Church? (see Mark 8:36).

Maybe one day I will be rebaptized and return to full activity. Time will tell.

The Good, The Bad and The ...

can I do today over?

The day started out pleasant enough. Steve pulled out two "Dick and Jane" books to share with Jim. Steve read some stories and we all had a good laugh. "See Dick. See Dick run." "Oh, see Dick. Oh, oh, oh. Funny, funny Dick."

Think I'm making this stuff up? Take a look at these pages:



That was the "good." Now for the "bad."

I've written before that I'm a total techno-virgin. I found out this morning that it's not a good idea to push buttons on a digital camera that "delete" photographs without knowing what you're doing. This is how I felt after I learned I had deleted all of the photographs stored on the memory card.



Okay ... so the woman's not holding a digital camera, but you get how I felt and still feel. Christmas photos of Steve and Jim ... gone! Photos of one of Steve's brothers and his wife from their visit to us last weekend ... gone! Blasted digital camera!!!!

But all was not lost this weekend. I learned we have a duck in the trunk of our car. No ... really!! On Saturday I was putting grocery bags in the trunk when a man parked next to us asked "Do you have a duck in your trunk?" I didn't have a clue what he was referring to, until Steve told me that he ... well ... how can I put this delicately? He let one rip. He didn't know the man was by us, so he tooted his horn. The man thought for sure he heard a duck. Even as I write this, I'm still laughing. So here's my husband, Steve the duck.


So how was your weekend?

Steve did give me an adorable Valentine ... one without ducks.

Spiritual Nourishment

DH and I met with the bishop last Sunday. The bishop is a very, what I consider, humble and down-to-earth man.

We revealed to him that my paycheck is being garnished. After listening to us and going over our finances, he told us that the Church would help us with food. He was ready to arrange for the RS president to come to our home to see what our needs are. We told him that for this month (and possibly next month) we have enough food to last until I find out if the garnishment is going to be reduced. He did tell us that he would like to see us out at Church.

Today DH and I went to Sacrament Meeting. Maybe this sounds corny, but I came away feeling "spiritually nourished." I came away with good feelings about the Church. Then I made the mistake of reading some of the comments here.

Now I'm beginning to question if I'm only fooling myself that I will have positive experiences at Church. Am I just "pink clouding?" In others words, am I in "a state of temporary artificial euphoria?"

I am so confused.

Please send some prayers my way ...

My little family is in a dire financial situation. I learned yesterday that my wages are going to be garnished. That means a huge, and I do mean huge, amount of money will be deducted from my paycheck. I am going to submit a Claim of Exemption to reduce the amount. Please say a prayer for my family that all will work out.

And here it is rapidly approaching Christmas. I wanted so much to make this a special Christmas for Jim.

The "Grinch" has sure made a most unwelcome appearance in our home.

Remembering the Past

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

Today I've been reflecting on the scripture “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). I look at the world today and cannot help but feel profoundly sad. Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke these words at General Conference in April 2009:

You don’t have to be a Latter-day Saint—you don’t even have to be religious—to see the repeating pattern of history in the lives of God’s children as recorded in the Old Testament. Time and again we see the cycle of righteousness followed by wickedness. Similarly, the Book of Mormon records that ancient civilizations of this continent followed exactly the same pattern: righteousness followed by prosperity, followed by material comforts, followed by greed, followed by pride, followed by wickedness and a collapse of morality until the people brought calamities upon themselves sufficient to stir them up to humility, repentance, and change.

If you are reading this post, do you agree with what Elder Ballard said? I do.

Elder Ballard also said:

We live in an era when the boundaries of good taste and public decency are being pushed to the point where there are no boundaries at all. The commandments of God have taken a beating in the vacillating marketplace of ideas that absolutely rejects the notion of right and wrong. Certain factions of society seem generally mistrustful of anyone who chooses to live according to religious belief. And when people of faith attempt to warn others of the possible consequences of their sinful choices, they are scoffed at and ridiculed, and their most sacred rites and cherished values are publicly mocked.

There was a time I would have scoffed at what Elder Ballard said. I would have thought "What does he know? He's just a stuffy old man and too old-fashioned in his thinking." But MY thinking has changed.

I pray that the calamities we have brought upon ourselves will "stir us up to humility, repentance, and change."

M. Russell Ballard, “Learning the Lessons of the Past,” Ensign, May 2009, 31–34

Gratuitous Kiss

On a recent episode of the new TV series FlashForward, there was a scene where two women kissed. It was known that they were lesbians. I read today that some people found the kissing scene "gratuitous." Why would anyone think such a scene was unwarranted? Why is it okay to show a male and female kissing, but not two females kissing? Why is one acceptable and the other is not?

I also read today where some active members of the LDS Church have decided they will no longer watch FlashForward because of the female-female kissing scene.

This is bugging the heck out of me today, so I thought I'd vent about it here on my blog.

Tell me … Would you honestly stop watching a TV series because of one scene?

And what is so horrendous about showing two women kissing?

Please leave a comment. Your thoughts would be most appreciated.

Utah Mormons

It's Saturday night and I've been doing some research. My topic was Mormon culture and, in particular, Utah Mormons. There has often been talk about the difference between Utah Mormons and Mormons in the "mission field." I came upon this interesting list.

What it Means to be a Utah Mormon Top Ten List

- I don’t know how to describe one, but I know one when I see one.

- “Utah Mormons” take Mormonism to the extreme

- “Utah Mormons” are characterized by their explicitives (Gosh!, Darn!, Heck!, and Fetch!)

- “Utah Mormons” think General Authorities are like rock stars (my wife loved this one…she shared with me an experience she had a BYU when some of her friends waited to see Elder Eyring and get their pictures and his autograph. When they came back they were pumped and going crazy…like you’d see at a rock concert

- “Utah Mormons” love green Jell-o

- Except for being on a mission, a Utah Mormon has never ventured outside of the “Mormon Corridor”

- “Utah Mormons” are nice, kind, and loving people

- “Utah Mormons” may take for granted what they have

- “Utah Mormons” are innocent in their knowledge of other faiths and/or cultures

- A “Utah Mormon” is someone who would be content living in Utah County all of their days

Having lived in Salt Lake City (1978-1982), I would tend to agree with most of these observations.

If you are a "Utah Mormon," what are you thoughts about this list?