Whitney Houston Tribute

I am stunned and heartsick that we have lost such an incredibly beautiful and talented woman. Whitney ... we will always love you. Fly with the angels.

One Nation Under God

"Christ is holding up the U.S. Constitution while behind him are the Founding Fathers and other patriotic heroes from the past two centuries speaking to us from the dust. They are asking us to remember the foundation of our country's greatness and the liberties defined under the Constitution.

"The fact that Christ holds the Constitution is very significant. I believe it was a God-inspired document. I believe God holds this country in the hollow of His hand. The Constitution gave Americans the kind of liberty unknown elsewhere in the world.

"I believe our country has been gradually weakened over the years, and we are reaching a tipping point. In the front of the painting, on the left side, are your strong Americans. On the other side are those who I believe have weakened the country."

"The painting One Nation Under God is very symbolic, and I wanted it to be that way to cause people to study it and ponder its message. I hope people will understand my feelings as they learn more about the meaning of the painting."
-- Jon McNaughton

RIP Randy "Macho Man" Savage

You were one of the best of the best. "Ohhhh yeah!!!!"

On the Outside Looking In

I’m on the outside looking in at LDS forums. I have noticed over the years that unless you were brought up in the church, went on a mission, married in the temple and have a current temple recommend, you just do not belong to the “club.” I did not feel this way when I was a new convert. DH and I were quite active in the church back in Queens, NY. It didn’t matter that we did not fit the mold. Most of the members in the ward we attended were converts.

I’ve tried to find a home at various LDS forums, but there is no place for me. So I’ve pretty much decided to remain in the shadows. Besides, no one will even notice I’m gone. When you’re not part of the inner circle, you just don’t matter.

Feeling Sad

Perhaps it's because the one year anniversary of my older sister's passing is approaching ... perhaps it's because I feel old ... perhaps it's because I let other people get to me. I haven't been posting much on this blog because I don't feel anything I write is worth reading. And I'm sure I've lost any on-line friends I had.

If anyone is reading this, what do you do when you're feeling sad and lonely?

I don't know why I'm asking that question ... I doubt anyone will respond.

Oh well ... this too shall pass.

*************

Now this is absolutely adorable ...

A Softening Heart

The above painting is titled "Angels Welcome"

I joined the LDS Church in March 1972. In November 1980, Steve and I asked to be excommunicated. We felt we could no longer be associated with the LDS Church due to some very unsettling experiences we had while living in Salt Lake City.

Fast forward to December 2009. Steve and I are now attending Sacrament meeting. I find myself looking forward to going to church.

It is odd because I have not sought to be rebaptized, yet I feel I belong in the church. I haven't felt this way for a very long time.

When we lived in SLC, I felt I was not one with the Saints because I was a convert. It seemed to me that if you were not born into an LDS home, you weren't truly LDS. This was disturbing to me because Steve and I held numerous callings back in New York. It did not matter that I was a convert because I was in a ward comprised mostly of converts.

Today I've been wondering if there are other LDS converts who moved to Utah and felt they were not welcomed. I found this talk by President Hinckley from 1999 and realized that perhaps my feelings had merit. This is part of what President Hinckley said:

Find the Lambs, Feed the Sheep
Gordon B. Hinckley, “Find the Lambs, Feed the Sheep,” Ensign, May 1999, 104
From a satellite broadcast given at the Salt Lake Tabernacle 21 February 1999

Strengthening New Members

Having found and baptized a new convert, we have the challenge of fellowshipping him and strengthening his testimony of the truth of this work. We cannot have him walking in the front door and out the back. Joining the Church is a very serious thing. Each convert takes upon himself or herself the name of Christ with an implied promise to keep His commandments. But coming into the Church can be a perilous experience. Unless there are warm and strong hands to greet the convert, unless there is an outreach of love and concern, he will begin to wonder about the step he has taken. Unless there are friendly hands and welcome hearts to greet him and lead him along the way, he may drop by the side.

There is absolutely no point in doing missionary work unless we hold on to the fruits of that effort. The two must be inseparable. These converts are precious. Every convert is a son or daughter of God. Every convert is a great and serious responsibility. It is an absolute imperative that we look after those who have become a part of us. To paraphrase the Savior, what shall it profit a missionary if he baptize the whole world unless those baptized remain in the Church? (see Mark 8:36).

Maybe one day I will be rebaptized and return to full activity. Time will tell.

Remembering the Past

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

Today I've been reflecting on the scripture “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). I look at the world today and cannot help but feel profoundly sad. Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke these words at General Conference in April 2009:

You don’t have to be a Latter-day Saint—you don’t even have to be religious—to see the repeating pattern of history in the lives of God’s children as recorded in the Old Testament. Time and again we see the cycle of righteousness followed by wickedness. Similarly, the Book of Mormon records that ancient civilizations of this continent followed exactly the same pattern: righteousness followed by prosperity, followed by material comforts, followed by greed, followed by pride, followed by wickedness and a collapse of morality until the people brought calamities upon themselves sufficient to stir them up to humility, repentance, and change.

If you are reading this post, do you agree with what Elder Ballard said? I do.

Elder Ballard also said:

We live in an era when the boundaries of good taste and public decency are being pushed to the point where there are no boundaries at all. The commandments of God have taken a beating in the vacillating marketplace of ideas that absolutely rejects the notion of right and wrong. Certain factions of society seem generally mistrustful of anyone who chooses to live according to religious belief. And when people of faith attempt to warn others of the possible consequences of their sinful choices, they are scoffed at and ridiculed, and their most sacred rites and cherished values are publicly mocked.

There was a time I would have scoffed at what Elder Ballard said. I would have thought "What does he know? He's just a stuffy old man and too old-fashioned in his thinking." But MY thinking has changed.

I pray that the calamities we have brought upon ourselves will "stir us up to humility, repentance, and change."

M. Russell Ballard, “Learning the Lessons of the Past,” Ensign, May 2009, 31–34

Reflections on 2008

WARNING: If you only enjoy reading something upbeat, click off this blog.

So I’ve been reading through some blogs and the posts about how Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 2008 was for said bloggers. Ha! Let me reflect on our 2008:

1. On March 17 and April 17, Steve was out for his afternoon walk as he does to control his diabetes. He tripped and fell both times fracturing his left elbow. As a result, he had to undergo physical therapy (twice a week), which ended on July 24. Cost (after insurance): $250+

2. In July, our transmission “died.” Cost to replace with a used transmission: over $1,400. That meant I missed a mortgage payment. I’m still trying to catch up on that missed payment.

3. In late August, our central air conditioning “died.” We spent two weeks sweltering. Cost to repair: Over $300.

4. On November 1, Steve was brutally attacked and robbed in our neighborhood. His wallet and coin purse were stolen, along with his eyeglasses, car and house keys, automatic garage door opener, baseball cap, handkerchief (really now!!!), and canvas bag which contained a newspaper and a can of Comet cleanser. We had to have all of the locks re-keyed. Steve spent over four hours in the Emergency Room. Total cost to date: Over $9,000!!! Thankfully we have insurance that is covering the bulk of the Emergency Room “visit.” (Believe me, we absolutely feel blessed that Steve is alive today.)

5. The thugs who attacked and robbed Steve used his ATM card to charge $45 worth of gas and $9 at a 7-Eleven. Fun time straightening that out talking with a bank rep in India.

6. Then Steve received a letter from the hospital informing him that a copy of his medical records from the Emergency Room visit was stolen. The truck of the courier service that picked up the bag with the medical records was broken into and some fool must have thought it contained drugs. We still don’t know if this will cause future headaches.

7. In November, our automatic garage door “died.” Cost to replace: Over $300.

8. Last month the check engine light came on in my little Ford Focus. Oh, joy! We took the car to Firestone where we go to have any car troubles checked out. In addition to finding out the cause of the check engine light coming on, I asked that they check our tires, brakes, etc., and also change the oil. The check engine light came on because the gas cap was not sealing properly. Okay … easy enough, and not terribly costly to replace, but then I was told this: All four tires were bald and needed to be replaced which also necessitated an alignment. Total cost: Over $650

So … was 2008 a good year for us? Let’s see … uh … I DON'T THINK SO!!!

The best part of 2008 was our son Jim has mellowed and is a total joy. It touches us deeply to hear him say “I love you, Dad.” And last Sunday he gave me a spontaneous hug. He is truly a special young man.

What will 2009 hold? Sadly, we shudder to even think about it.

I hope you "enjoyed" reading this post. Oh yeah … I almost forgot … HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

And this is a reminder to myself .....